Dude, I'm An Aspie.

Thoughts and illustrations on living with Asperger's Syndrome.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Let's Be Better-Than-Nothings

“So much ink has been spilled deriding the false concept of a ‘Facebook friend,’ but I can tell you that a ‘Facebook friend’ is better than nothing.”

So declared Paul Miller this week upon ending a year-long self-imposed exile from the internet.

“No duh!” declared many of us on the autism spectrum. Indeed, some of us base an entire social life on Better Than Nothing!

So to celebrate the end of Paul's communication shutdown, I present an ode to a few other things that are Better Than Nothing.
  

Discussing your day with a pen pal.



Your comment on that “Park & Recreation” recap gets one Like from some random dude.



Being named a #followfriday for “Awesome.”



The “guru” invites you to join their network.



Favoriting a celebrity’s tweet.



Friend emails to say, “Saw this meme and thought of you!”



Do you have a favorite Better-Than-Nothing? Join the funfest and share in the comments.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Astrophe









dictionaryofobscuresorrows:

astrophe: n. a hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head—a crisp analysis, a cathartic dialogue, a devastating comeback—which serves as a kind of psychological batting cage where you can connect more deeply with people than in the small ball of everyday life, which is a frustratingly cautious game of change-up pitches, sacrifice bunts, and intentional walks.

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Thanks to all of you who sponsored me in the 2013 Walk for Autism (Acceptance)! I raised a total of $575 to provide real-world help to adults and children with autism, through vocational services, parent mentoring, teen game nights to practice social skills, family social and rec events, summer camp programs, and awareness. It's not too late if you'd like to donate in celebration of Autistic culture and community. Thank you!

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Caution: Aspies at Work

Chances are, if you’re on the spectrum, routine is important to you. In the workplace, more than anywhere else, routine can be an obsession, even for NT’s. We often have limited choices in our work area, but we have a remarkable ability to acclimate by imposing our own structure that becomes essential to our productivity. Unsurprisingly, anyone who tries to change our habits may encounter resistance. In my 15 years in the workplace, I’ve certainly seen my share of changes in work environment, and done my share of settling in and out of grooves.

When I first started out, I worked from home. My boss didn’t have space for me in the office, but he bought me a fax machine so he could send me handwritten comments on my grants. It was fine, because I can read anyone’s chicken scratch. I doubt he ever did learn to use “track changes.”

The worst workspace I ever had was a cubicle inside a laboratory full of machinery that buzzed and burbled continuously. One needed to don protective goggles to cross the border from the cube farm to the front office. Safety first.

For a brief time, I shared an office with two other people. This was less than ideal, but a step down in sensory stress from the lab. Most notably, it was where I heard the news on the morning of 9-11, looking at the photos of the World Trade Center on AOL, and my co-worker’s words, “We’re under attack.”

A private office is the best setting for the detailed writing and data processing I do. I keep my desk neat and uncluttered. Rarely will you find piles of anything. I file next to everything electronically. I decorate simply, with plants and a colorful rug. I’ve had paper-thin walls, and pin-drop quiet. Surprisingly, I prefer the former. Just a reminder of signs of life.

In my current job, I was introduced to the two-monitor setup. At first, I found it nutty and decadent. But now, I don’t know if I could ever go back to one. How else can you read from one document, and type in another? I wonder if the inventor of the widescreen monitor realizes how quickly it became obsolete.

Lunch is at 11:30 or thereabouts. If there’s a lunch meeting scheduled for later, I need to snack beforehand, or I won’t make it. I’ve been across the hall from the lunchroom, and across the building. Proximity is preferable, because I know when the microwave is free, and when someone has left treats.

I’ve shared office space with an HVAC unit that cycled on and off, that I needed to schedule my phone calls around. I’ve lived next door to a server closet that needed a muzzle. I’ve been keeper of the projector. I’ve encountered a ladybug invasion, released a buggy shower of insect parts from the overhead light, and welcomed an oversized water bug to the 10:00 Meet & Greet.

I don’t usually work with music on, except to plow through mindless busy work, and then I’ll put on Pandora. Something mellow, maybe Vince Guaraldi Radio, or Alexi Murdoch Radio, or Phoebe Snow Radio.

I never drink coffee, only water. It needs to be warmed when it’s cold out, and cold when it’s warm out.

I still use a daily planner as my organizer, writing down what needs to be done each day and checking it off, and starting each day with a new page. I don’t own a smartphone; I really don’t desire one. I have a flip phone, and it meets all my phoney needs. I keep a collection of all my paper that's been printed on one side, so I can use the other side as scrap.

I need to go outside at least once a day. If there’s mail to get from a mailbox, or from another building, that’s a good excuse. Otherwise, I’ll make up an excuse.

No office is perfect, but I pride myself on my ability to adapt to whatever is thrown my way. I think most of us have such flexibility, as surely as we swear by the rigid rules with which we mold our work environment to our individual needs. In a neurodiverse workplace, there’s no such thing as “one size fits all,” but an employer who values diverse work styles listens to and accommodates his employees, and thereby ensures the comfort of all.

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It's two weeks till the Walk for Autism Acceptance. I'm 66% to my goal! Join the celebration of autistic community and culture by making a contribution today, and help provide services and advocacy to people who need it. Thanks!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

"Dude, I'm An Aspie" Named to Babble's Top 30 Autism Blogs for 2013

Babble has announced their Top 30 Autism Spectrum Blogs of 2013, continuing their annual Autism Awareness Month tradition. I'm honored to be selected for a third consecutive year!

Babble.com is the revolutionary site for a new generation of parents. The Top 30 Autism Blogs recognizes a range of viewpoints from self-advocates, parents with autism who have kids with autism, and non-autistic parents. Please check out the list to see which of your other favorites made it, discover some great new blogs to follow, and suggest nominations for next year.

I'm grateful and proud to be named to the autism blogging "all star team," as it were. It's thanks to all of you who enjoy what I do. Really, many of my posts are simply me messing around, throwing together some doodles. Yet I continue to hear from those of you who have found yourself, or your child, in the cartoons, or turn here for a dose of truth about autism. For that, I'm truly appreciative.

Thank you! And thanks to Babble for all you do for autism awareness.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

The Taupe-inator












The Taupe-inator may be out of commission, but you can still Tone It Down Taupe. Visit to find out more and get involved.

Plus, you can support autism acceptance by donating to my Walk for Autism Acceptance fundraiser. I'm nearly 50% to my goal. Thank you!

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Into It









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Geek Book Clubs has named me their Geek of the Week! Check out their web site for lots of cool stuff for quirky kids, and a community that celebrates its uniqueness.

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I'm 12% to my goal in the Walk for Autism Acceptance. Support my campaign and make a real difference for people with autism. Thanks!


Sunday, March 24, 2013

Spectrum Soundtrack: I’ll Slip Away


By now, you’ve probably heard of Rodriguez, the subject of last year’s movie “Searching for Sugar Man,” which went on to win the Oscar for Best Documentary Feature. I’ve been transfixed by his story and his music.

If you’re not familiar, Rodriguez recorded several albums in the early 70’s that didn’t sell, so he left the music business and seemingly disappeared. Meanwhile, his music found its way to South Africa, and unbeknownst to him, made him a star. The film documents two fans’ attempts to find out what happened to him. In bringing Rodriguez’ story to the masses, they enabled him to finally attain the stardom in the US he never had. I highly recommend the movie.

Rodriguez’ music was recorded 40 years ago, but somehow sounds more from today’s world than most contemporary music. Think Bob Dylan in his prime, with some R&B notes thrown in, and a string section. His voice is both raw and pure, and his lyrics are infused with poetic truth.

I have many favorites on the film soundtrack, but one of the songs that most resonates with me is “I’ll Slip Away.” Perhaps it’s simply a song about a breakup, or moving on from disagreeable circumstances, but it also works as an anthem of nonconformity.

Cause you've been down on me for too long
And for too long I just put you on
Now I'm tired of lying and I'm sick of trying
Cause I'm losing who I really am
And I'm not choosing to be like them.

A familiar theme in Rodriguez’ music is sticking it to the man. For me, as an autistic person, it’s the neurotypical establishment I must fit in with. How liberating it would be to not have to try anymore, and trust in my own path.

And if you get bored or you got loneliness
Or it's dislike for me you express
I won't care if you're right or you're wrong
I won't care cause you see I'll be gone.
Maybe today, yeah,
I’ll slip away.

But more likely than sticking it to the NT man, I’d simply disappear into my inner world without them noticing I’ve gone. In a way, the song foreshadows Rodriguez’ own career and disappearance into the anonymity of hard labor. However, in time, he found the recognition he deserves. So too, do many autistic people dream of being appreciated for our unknown talent. Next week will be the start of Autism Acceptance Month, our vision of a world that celebrates our differences and hidden gifts, rather than one we wish to slip away from.

I like to think of Rodriguez as an icon for those of us who have such an unnoticed talent, and stay true to our authentic self, regardless of how long it takes for our audience to find us. They say he used to play Detroit bars with his back to the audience. They say now he’s finally getting some serious moolah from music royalties, but he plans to stay in the same house in the same blue-collar Detroit neighborhood, and give all his earnings to his family. Righteous.

In two weeks, Rodriguez’ first major American tour passes through Philly, and I’ll be in the audience. Should be a good time. Inside the music, for a little while, to slip away.



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This April, Fuzzy is taking over the Walk for Autism -- to make it a Walk for Autism Acceptance! Will you join me? Sponsor me and provide real-world help and ACCEPTANCE for children and adults with autism.