Mooserise

Mooserise.

 

Badger o’clock.

 

10 o’clock Bob.

 

 

High noon!

 

2 o’clock sharp.

 

Crack of Shawn.

Jasonrise.                    Jasonset.

And rise...                And set... 

 

 Dagnabbit, Jason, make up your mind.

Ode to Headphones

A more perfect accessory, is there one?
Wearable input, encasing my eardrums, the universal “Do Not Disturb.”
Atop my head, they go with me everywhere, my armor against the world.
Distraction-free, I’m a dynamo. Give me my cans, and I “can-do!”
Spectacular bubble, admittance one.
Float me to a destination of my own piloting, envelop me in a singular soundtrack I alone choose.
Choose your own adventure! Feed your ears, your soul, your brain, it’s all a click away.
Why click away?
Isn’t it obvious?
All around is mindless babble.
Silence has gone extinct, a void we rush to fill with all manner of jabbering.
Talking heads, gloom and doom, commercialized homogenized carbon-copy sound bytes, bothersome beats beating me down... intrude no more!
Amid the hubbub of audio offense, my defense is strong. Put on a new set of ears, like you would a new outfit, it’s a new day.
Splendid isolation! Why, I can even hide from my own mind.
So let’s drop all pretense of “friendly chatter,” my ears need better buds. 
Give me my drown sound.
Seal me in my listening chamber!
With these shells atop my head, I’m goin’ full tortoise mode.
Text me if you need me. If you must talk to me, feel free to look for my body, though I may be out of it.
Would that I could evolve headphone ears! An extra appendage, always close at hand.
Perhaps we'd be better off as pod people.
An end to all bickering, just add distance and our divisive differences dissolve into one big silent rave.
Now that would be splendid.

Noise Creep

The Auditory Processing Joust

Hark! Tis the hour of battle, as the noises of the day do take up arms and compete for mine attention, like gladiators in the coliseum of my mind.

The Beeps and Pings of text messages, and the Bodily Emissions are first to throw down the gauntlet. Mere hecklers, these! Such pucks are easily vanquished.

The Unanswered Ringtone poseth a greater menace; this troublesome vandal shan’t go down so easily, but by my blade, his fate is sealed.

Then cometh the Sidebar Conversation, clamoring with cacophony, dazzling with the drool of gossip.

But in rode the Gushing Extrovert, confounded dolt! O, how he doth prattle on about minutiae. And lo, he didst slay the Conversation with sheer tomfoolery!

What, ho! The Conditioner of Air hath raised the stakes, with his terrible rattle, a most venomous beast! Accompanied by the guttural clangor of his brother, the Jackhammer. Belligerent scalawags; these two have a taste for blood.

Ah, but tis none I fear so much as the Whispered Conversation – the most dreaded of them all! With muted speech, he veils his meaning in wizardry, yet compels mine ear to listen – nay, I cannot match wits with this ruffian! The battle is lost!

What is auditory processing disorder?

Background noise: The annoying reality

Wrong Planet: Hearing everything, and inability to filter background noise

Living and Working with a Central Auditory Processing Disorder ...

Maledicam de Spectro

In the chill of the night, as dark as can be, 
A haunted spirit wells up within me...

When that ol’ spotlight shines a little too bright,

When my sensory supper plate overflows with weight,

Spooks a-poppin’! In my face, no stoppin’.

And I feel I begin to change...

My fingers, they twitch. My speech, it garbles. My frenzied brain ‘bout to lose its marbles.

Can’t hide my confusion, gotta let out a growl,

What had been invisible, now announced with a howl!

Behold the cacodemon! Raw exposed nerves,

Provoked by a world that intrudes and swerves. 

I must scream, must jabber, must flap, must curse!

Must throw, must blather, must sputter, and worse!

And all I encounter will flee with fright,

Till I’ve time to recover, like daybreak from night.

So beware overwhelming my atypical mind,

Lest I flip like a switch from Jekyll to Hyde.

Though my curse brings me secret delight, you see:

For one fleeting moment, ‘tis they who fear me!

Peace

 

Cheer Factor