All Awesome Mixtapes Go to Heaven

My first mixtape was made of 100% cheese. The low-hanging, gummish bubble stuff of the pop airwaves, some 25 years ago. School bus soundtrack, first cassettes I ever owned. Best enjoyed in countdown form, namely Jay Beau Jones’ Top 9 Tonight. (TNT!)

The Sony SoundRider Cassette-Corder had two decks, and two buttons highlighted in red: REC, and DUBBING. What else for, but to collect, and reassemble? And so I trained my trigger finger to fire at first sign of a target. Vigilantly listening, willing the DJ to telegraph what was coming, but not run his mouth over the intro, I filled hours of ribbon with tune trophies. A near-regurgitation of the hits of the day, though I did pluck some obscure gems from Katrina & the Waves, and Jive Bunny & The Mastermixers. And at year’s end, I crafted it into a glorious Top 100 set. Glorious for a short time, anyway.

Of all the things I’ve made and destroyed, and later wished I could have back, my first awesome mix is right up there. But my tastes had to evolve, and I took victims with me.

My earliest compilation first revealed itself as cringe-worthy schlock upon my entry through the secret door to “modern rock” with its harder edge, Shrieks of the Week, and world-weary detachment.

 … Which I in turn jettisoned for roots rock: Earnest, homegrown, soul nourishment, served up by freeform programmers who segued from song to song to create a greater whole, the true artists of the mix, but ultimately doomed to banishment by the wheels of corporate radio.

… Which led me to seek solace in the advent of MP3’s and music blogs, the musical world at my cherry-picking fingertips. Expunging radio from the equation, I found my favorite artists and digested their whole catalogs. Personalization reached its height, even as the choices grew exponentially and bred decision fatigue.

… Which induced me to flee the modern soundscape, in favor of music of the ancients, museum pieces, revered and academic. Pure escape, gone was the need to collect, to differentiate one piece from another, or even to learn titles or composers. The momentary in and out flow sufficed, afterward it was disposable.

Somewhere along this musical evolution, my first awesome mix became a drag on my claim to musical integrity, most of its content long banished to the cultural trash heap. If I couldn’t wipe my memory, at least I could destroy the evidence. I pared down those 100 cheesy tracks to one cassette. Excised it of all punch lines. Neutered it of all cheese. But that was a phony retcon.

From time to time, those 80's relics reared their heads, and they cut through clear and true, lyrics still imprinted on my memory, the first notes begging the question, “Where’ve ya been?” A guilty pleasure. But why feel guilty?

Nostalgia lends a feel-good factor like none other. Of all the things music can make you feel, isn’t fist-pumpin’ joy the best? I know I’m not alone in that, because those exiled tunes turn up more and more, in “stunt programming” like a “Worst Of” weekend, or stations devoted to an “old school” format. Whitney, Paula, Def Leppard, it’s good to hear you again. Batdance – now there’s some cheese that can’t be denied! At the end of the day, I don’t want to enjoy my music ironically, or assert my hipster cred with it, or spout historical trivia about it. I want it to launch me into orbit. “Across the nation, around the world, everybody have fun tonight!” in the immortal words of Wang Chung.

My musical tastes have a split personality, and I’m content to keep them locked in perpetual battle for supremacy. There’s a time and a place for everything in that fight, even watered-down pop confections. To those musical elitists who would look down their noses in disparagement, I say, get over yourself. A once-awesome tune never dies, it just waits to be rediscovered. As for my long-lost first mixtape, I’ve taken up the challenge of reconstructing it from memory.

Star-Lord had it right. Hold on to your awesome mix and carry it with you. You might just find, someday, it’s your secret weapon.

Hyperfamiliar

Eat Pray Roll by Mary H.K. Choi [sensory t/w: flashing graphics]

D'err

Meet The Characters: Squishy Bird

Gather round, readers! Today, you’re in for a real treat. For today, I tell you the legend of the Squishy Bird.

The year, 1986. The place, a Marshall’s department store. My mom goes shopping and brings home a plush birdie for my two younger brothers, but not for me. As if, at ten years old, I was too old for a stuffed bird. Little did she know.

Squishes!

Squishy Bird, so named by me for his spongy texture, stood 5 inches tall and resembled a bright blue penguin. He had personality. From the permanent amused expression on his face, to the mischievious glint in his beady little eyes, it all seemed to invite you to take a squish.

Naturally, the birds became a hot commodity around our household. Enticed by the lure of the squish, I would habitually steal the Squishy Bird from my brothers. This led them to guard him closely, which made me covet him even more, in an escalating cycle. Truly, a squish in the hand was worth two aggravated siblings.

Skateboard Squish, Sept. 1986

Squishy Bird became popular among our neighborhood friends as well. He was known to join us on our skateboards, cuz that’s just the kinda bird he was. He also inspired us to wax philosophical, and was the subject of many a quote in the Sayings Book. “Around here, we call it a Squishy Bird,” declared Ian. Another time, he memorably pontificated, “Squishes. How few there be.” Truer words were never spoken.

First cartoon appearance of Squishy Bird, April 8, 1986

As a character, Squishy Bird’s storyline began not on paper, but on a tape-recording called “Bear Going Lunch’s Greatest Adventure.” In this project, my friends and I took a tape recorder and voice-acted the exploits of superhero Bear Going Lunch and his dimwitted sidekick Camel Dude as they battled arch villain Eggo Waffles. Squishy Bird, who was voiced by me, showed up to interrupt our heroes at every turn, wanting to help, but just being annoying. A typical exchange went like this:

Bear Going Lunch: “I’d better get over there right away!”
Squishy Bird: “Hi! I’m Squishy Bird, where are you going?”
Bear Going Lunch: “This is confidential, and don’t follow me. You might get hurt.”
Squishy Bird: “It’s always confidential with this guy.”

An Interview with Squishy Bird, Aug. 17, 1986

Bear Going Lunch finally punches Squishes out just to shut him up, but Squishes would always come right back. He did, however, have his useful moments, as when he reminded Camel Dude to use medicine to revive an unconscious Bear. And, in a display of bravery, Squishy Bird saved Camel Dude from a burning building, getting caught in the flames himself. This led Bear Going Lunch to exclaim, “I’ve gotta save him, even if he gets on my nerves.”

In cartoon form, Squishy Bird’s major storyline came in “Piggy Parties, The Book.” Mimicking events in 1986’s Transformers, The Movie, Squishy Bird falls down a hole to find the leader of the News, Party Piggy, dying. In his last moments, Party Piggy urges him to take the Matrix of Newsyship and carry on his responsibilities as leader.

Squishy Bird takes the Matrix of Newsyship. From Piggy Parties, The Book, Fall 1986

Squish E. Bird. Fall 1986

Upon taking the Matrix, he assumed a new identity, Squish E. Bird, along with long orange legs and new feather markings. He served as leader for a short while, but the more mature Squish E. proved to be a boring character, quite in conflict with the zany roots of Squishes. I thus retconned him back to Squishy Bird.

Today, I’ve found the perfect role for Squishes in Dude, I’m An Aspie as the overly friendly, perpetually cheerful and well-adjusted NT. His personality is a bit of Barney, a bit of Pillsbury Dough Boy, a bit of Tigger, and a bit of the Walmart greeter we all want to punch out. Naturally, Fuzzy hates his guts. You can see him take out his aggression in such cartoons as “Instant Moron-Maker” and “Twitter.”

Squishy Bird is still a meddling buttinsky, prone to do more harm than good in his attempts to be helpful. But as often as he gets knocked out, he’ll pop right back up with that amused smile on his face.

Hold on… who’s that? Somebody just came in… Hey, leggo of my keyboard, you!

Hello! I’m Squishy Bird!

Squishy Bird, get out of here. I’m writing a post!

I have a message to the peoples! Hellooo, peoples in the Internet! This is very important! You need to reset your linkee linkees to dudeimanaspie.com, for more cartoons about meeeee!

Oh. Well, that’s actually very helpful. Thank you, Squishy Bird.

And may I say too, also, a Squishy New Yeeeaar!1!! I give to you, a big squooshy hug! And…

POW!

Oooof...

Sorry about that, folks. Sometimes, you just gotta do that. As I was saying.

Oh, yes. He’s the indestructible, the inscrutable, the squishable. The legend. You cannot resist the Squish.

Meet The Characters: Fuzzysnussle

As you know from previous posts, I have a 25-year history in cartooning. The characters I use in this blog go back to those early days. Now that they’re OMG-famous!, it’s high time to give them a proper introduction.

Fuzzysnussle is the large-nosed face of the franchise that is Dude, I'm An Aspie, if you can call it a franchise. When I set out to draw my first post, I needed a character to represent me. He had to be easy to draw, because it had been a long time between cartoons.

Fuzzysnussle was created by my friend Molly in 5th grade in 1986 in a guest spot in my newspaper "Terminator." She supplied the first drawing of him, the name, and a capsule backstory. He had come to Earth from the planet Quirk. And, he liked horses.

First appearance of Fuzzysnussle, Feb. 18, 1986

... And that was the extent of the backstory. I adopted the character and used him as a supporting cast member, managing to give him hardly any personality.

Fuzzy displayed some hero qualities early on, in an appearance in my comic strip “Slick Says Short Stupid Sam Stories.” It was Fuzzy who brought the antidote after an attack by the Mad Moustacher, which was a Robby Spongy Bit. (More effective than shaving cream.) He then helped the crew foil her evil plan.

"The Mad Moustacher," Feb. 24, 1986

Fuzzy had much shorter hair back then. He also spoke in cursive at first, but later in print, presumably as he learned the language of the Earthlings. It was later revealed that he had a cousin named Fussysnuzzle (pictured at far right above), who had even less personality.

Fizzysnussle, Feb. 1986

When you mix a Fuzzysnussle with Pespi, what do you get? A Fizzysnussle.

"Return of the Mad Moustacher," June 1986

Later, a new Mad Moustacher returned to seek revenge, and Fuzzy again joined our heroes to battle her. He had acquired a train at this point, which served as an effective mode of transportation.

In “Piggy Parties, The Book,” set 20 years in the future in 2006, Fuzzysnussle’s cousin was killed in World War III by a graduate of Laser Tag Academy. Overcome by grief and rage, he turned vigilante and swore revenge on the enemy, Khadaffy IV. In a vengeful, yet brave display, Fuzzy singlehandedly penetrated palace defenses, marched in unarmed, and adminstered a fatal head-plucking. He thus saved the world.

"Piggy Parties, The Book," Fall 1986

All that history, to say, the Fuzzy personality was effectively a blank slate when Dude came around.

The Fuzzy of 2010 is much more of a developed character. I use him to represent Aspie traits and point of view. I often use him to speak for myself, though not always. 

It’s been great fun to watch him evolve over the past year and to give him a much greater range of expressions than he ever had. Although he remains easy to draw, it can take several tries to get his expression just right. Fuzzy has his contemplative moments, as shown in “Simply Be,” his hysterical ones as in “Instant Moron-Maker,” and his indecisive ones, as in “I’m An Aspie, Period.”

It is a thrill to think that he’s become an informal icon of Aspgerger’s. Not bad for a fuzzball from the planet Quirk.

Special Interests: Cartoon Beginnings

This is post #50. For this special occasion, I’ve saved a special interest. Today I will share with you how I began with my cartoons, and why they are so intimately tied to my Asperger’s.

I hadn’t done any cartooning in over 20 years, prior to Dude, I’m An Aspie! It was something I did as a kid, just for fun, for myself, with great intensity. But last year when I learned about Asperger’s and special interests, my cartooning phase was no longer just a peculiar activity. I understood now why I did it the way I did. I also understood why I needed to pick the pencil up and start again.

I wrote my own newspaper from age 9 to 11, on notebook paper, in pencil. Usually in class, after I finished my work, or during indoor recess. It was part news report, part tabloid, part comic book, and part activity book. I called it “a News,” or in plural, “Newses.”

Each News was a numbered issue in a series, carefully dated. I easily churned out over 50 issues at my peak output during my 5th grade school year. Unlike their contemporary, the Sayings Book, the Newses survived all this time in folders on my closet shelf.

The Newses went by several titles during their run. The very first ones, when I was maybe 7, were called "Pooh News." This was later followed by "Noo-Noo News."

Noo-Noo News Vol. 10, Issue 4, December 10, 1985

With Volume 11, the name changed to “Terminator: The End of Robby and Much More - In a Newspaper!” Robby was a friend and often the butt of the joke. It was all in fun. Really.

Terminator Vol. 12, Issue 1, January 23, 1986

“Terminator” had the best logos.

Terminator Vol. 13, Issue 1, Feb. 21, 1986

Terminator Vol. 14, Issue 4, March 16, 1986. Around this time, I acquired colored pencils.

And with Volume 16, another title change took place to “Piggy Parties.” This name, as with “Terminator,” was the winner of a contest among my friends.

Piggy Parties Vol. 16, Issue 2, April 23, 1986

For content, I drew on my observations. The day the clock went crazy. The day my friend dropped a strudel on the ground on a field trip. The time I made Green Lantern a vehicle out of lego. And, over a three issue stretch, I recorded all of my Hanukkah presents in order.

I also drew on my creativity, reimagining classmates as super heroes and villains like Little Big Pants, The Cucumber, and Ding Dong the Kangaroo.

Whooz Whooz entry for Ding Dong, in the style of DC Comics' Who's Who. From Terminator Vol. 14, Issue 2, March 11, 1986.

Artistically, I was most influenced by Jim Davis and “Garfield,” and emboldened by the step-by-step approach in Ed Emberly’s series of Big Drawing Books.

"How to Draw a Laying-Down Odie." From Noo-Noo News, Vol. 7, Issue 4, March 4, 1985.

The News had an endless variety of regular features.

• Fake ads, such as the principal’s spanking paddle.
• Lost & Found: “Found: Pizza. Yummy side down. Stepped on.”
• Believe It Or Not: “We saw four Toys R Us commercials in a row! Believe it or not!”
• The Daily Blah, which was activities like unscrambling words or quizzes: “What are the words you say to form Voltron?”
• And there was a letters column, which I wrote and answered myself.

Looking back, in the context of a special interest, I see these sections as my fascination with the parts of a written publication. They served as a valuable structure in which to categorize all my ideas and doodles.

Odie reports on the mysterious appearance of a new wall in the classroom. From Noo-Noo News Vol. 7, Issue 2, Feb. 25, 1985.

The Weird Dictionary. From Terminator Vol. 11, Issue 1. Dec. 16, 1985.

For characters, I had very few originals in those days. I used Odie, but not Garfield. He was easier to draw, and was always a way more interesting character to me. I also used all the Q-Bert characters, despite the fact that I never played the video game. I developed a regular comic strip called “Slick Says Short Stupid Sam Stories.” S.S.S.S.S.S. became the centerpiece of each issue, with classic storylines such as the gang’s battle with the Mad Moustacher, Slick’s whirlwind romance with Slickette, and the epic 8-part series where Slick turned blue.

First appearance of "Slick Says Short Stupid Sam Stories." From Noo-Noo News Vol. 7, Issue 3. Feb. 26, 1985.

It all culminated in an 18-page project in the fall of ’86 called “Piggy Parties, The Book,” which was a parody of Transformers, The Movie. It took place 20 years in the distant future, in 2006, in which major characters died, morphed, had kids, etc. etc.

Odie meets his destiny at the hands of the Great Hubbabutt. From Piggy Parties, The Book, Fall 1986.

My elementary school friends were fans of the Newses, but their interest paled in comparison to my own. I was fine with that balance for awhile. I wrote for myself. It enabled me to indulge the weird workings of my mind, and create a universe unto itself. But eventually, when I changed schools and failed to gain new fans, creating for myself lost its appeal. In the years that followed, I made a few attempts to restyle my characters and go “all original,” but those always found their way to the trash bin. The Newses, however, stayed on, on my closet shelf. They carried some great importance, which I couldn’t put my finger on, but which was undeniable.

To understand Asperger’s as a positive thing, for me, is to understand why I made the Newses. They are irreverent, idiosynchratic, incomprehensible, and an essential portrait of who I was at age 10. The time I spent on them was unquestionably enjoyable, as I often churned out entire issues in a few days in bursts of free-flowing creativity. They are my most special of special interests.

That's why, when I disclosed my Asperger's, Dude, I’m An Aspie! had to be a cartoon. When I drew it, and when I started this blog, it was my hope that I’d be carrying on the spirit of the News. I feel like I’ve done my 10-year-old self proud. Who would have thought I would one day have an audience around the world? It is an amazing thing, and I thank you for being a part of it and for keeping me going.

But wait, the best is yet to come! In upcoming posts, we’ll meet the characters you’ve come to know from Dude, I’m An Aspie, and look at their beginnings in the pages of the News.

Retro Mommy Blog, Part 2

Continuing our series on what mommy blogging might have looked like back when I was a young'un.

Saturday, December 14, 1985

8 Presents and 1 Happy Kid

Tonight was the 8th night of Hanukkah. The candles are burning down and the last presents have all been opened. Poohboy is watching over my shoulder as I write. He wants me to write about the presents he got. Why not? When in doubt about what to write, ask the 10 year old.

Okay, what did you get the first night? Silverbolt. Which one is he, a Transformer? I thought we had all of them. They keep making more. Oh, I see, it’s an Aerialbot. Well, as long as you’re happy. What’s that? You wish you got Modulok like your brother? Sigh… let’s just move on.



On the second night, you got Switchblade. That’s a plane too, right? Oh, that’s M.A.S.K., he says.

Night 3 was the 2nd Garfield Treasury. You seem unimpressed with that, Poohboy. But Garfield's your favorite! Well, yes, they’re the same Sunday strips you already have in your other Garfield books. No, Jim Davis doesn’t do new ones for it! We went through this with the 1st Treasury!

On night 4, you got the Garfield 1986 calendar, “Big Fat Hairy Dreams.” That one, you’re happy with? It has new content? Mazel tov.

On night 5 you got the Black Lion. That must be a Transformer. No? So how come your brothers also got lions, and they all go together to form a robot? Voltron? Good grief. Don’t roll your eyes at me, I don’t know how you keep them all straight.

Okay, what was night 6? Thunderhawk? You seemed happy with that. Another M.A.S.K.? Oh, this one’s the good guy. Poohboy’s singing the theme song now.



And on night 7, you got a $5 gift certificate to Captain Blue Hen. I know you’re excited about that. That’ll buy a whole stack of comic books. Can you go tomorrow? Ask your father.

And tonight, what did you get? Thundercracker? Is that like Thunderhawk? Oh, this one’s a Transformer. And a bad guy. And Thundercracker’s a plane, not a car… OK, I give up.

And you also got a Frizzly tonight. You haven’t stopped playing with that. It’s a little fuzzy worm with an invisible string you pull along behind you. So cute! I’m glad you like him. Thundercracker’s still in the box? Oh, okay. All in good time.

Thanks for helping me write tonight’s post, Poohboy! You have such a good memory. You remembered all your presents in exact order. Now, if you remember any of them in 25 years, that would really be impressive.

Okay Poohboy, you can go now. Mommy needs a break. Have you practiced your lines for the school play? Yes? Hmmm… I know! We can always sing another round of “Oh Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah…”

Yeah, he bolted out of here at that. And so did the Frizzly.

Well, it’s true what they say. The holidays are all about the kids, am I right? Tonight, mine are happy, and that means, so am I.

I hope the holidays bring you and your family everything that you wish for.

Posted by mom2poohboy at 8:25 PM 
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Photo credits: mverde, Flickr Creative Commons. Amazon.com. abebooks.com. jquiz, Flickr Creative Commons