The year, 1986. The place, a Marshall’s department store. My mom goes shopping and brings home a plush birdie for my two younger brothers, but not for me. As if, at ten years old, I was too old for a stuffed bird. Little did she know.
Naturally, the birds became a hot commodity around our household. Enticed by the lure of the squish, I would habitually steal the Squishy Bird from my brothers. This led them to guard him closely, which made me covet him even more, in an escalating cycle. Truly, a squish in the hand was worth two aggravated siblings.
|Skateboard Squish, Sept. 1986|
|First cartoon appearance of Squishy Bird, April 8, 1986|
Bear Going Lunch: “I’d better get over there right away!”
Squishy Bird: “Hi! I’m Squishy Bird, where are you going?”
Bear Going Lunch: “This is confidential, and don’t follow me. You might get hurt.”
Squishy Bird: “It’s always confidential with this guy.”
|An Interview with Squishy Bird, Aug. 17, 1986|
In cartoon form, Squishy Bird’s major storyline came in “Piggy Parties, The Book.” Mimicking events in 1986’s Transformers, The Movie, Squishy Bird falls down a hole to find the leader of the News, Party Piggy, dying. In his last moments, Party Piggy urges him to take the Matrix of Newsyship and carry on his responsibilities as leader.
|Squishy Bird takes the Matrix of Newsyship. From Piggy Parties, The Book, Fall 1986|
|Squish E. Bird. Fall 1986|
Fuzzy hates his guts. You can see him take out his aggression in such cartoons as “Instant Moron-Maker” and “Twitter.”
Squishy Bird is still a meddling buttinsky, prone to do more harm than good in his attempts to be helpful. But as often as he gets knocked out, he’ll pop right back up with that amused smile on his face.
Hold on… who’s that? Somebody just came in… Hey, leggo of my keyboard, you!
Hello! I’m Squishy Bird!
Squishy Bird, get out of here. I’m writing a post!
I have a message to the peoples! Hellooo, peoples in the Internet! This is very important! You need to reset your linkee linkees to dudeimanaspie.com, for more cartoons about meeeee!
Oh. Well, that’s actually very helpful. Thank you, Squishy Bird.
And may I say too, also, a Squishy New Yeeeaar!1!! I give to you, a big squooshy hug! And…
Sorry about that, folks. Sometimes, you just gotta do that. As I was saying.
Oh, yes. He’s the indestructible, the inscrutable, the squishable. The legend. You cannot resist the Squish.