Thoughts and illustrations on living with Asperger's Syndrome.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Blow Up

This week, my blog saw its most visitors ever -- about 6,000 in one day! -- after my first post was shared by Autism Speaks. It’s quite a jolt to come home from work, open your email, and find 50 new comments. At first I thought it must be a spam attack, or somebody started a flame war. Of course, as I began to read the comments, I quickly realized it was neither of these.

I heard from parents, adults on the spectrum, autism professionals, and even one 10 year old. Most of you said how much you loved the cartoons. I want to thank you all for your kind words. It means a lot to hear that my cartoons speak to you. As one commenter said, “I wanted to say that I think your site is about to blow up, but after reading your blogs I realize what kind of picture that puts in your head.” Maybe a picture like this?



Many of you said how much you relate to how I describe Asperger’s. Christine said, “I love your description of aspergers, it gives me better perspective on what these kids are going through.” I heard from many, many parents who love their kids just the way they are, like this grandmother of an 11 year old: “During his meltdowns and times of pain when he thinks he should never have been born and he is all alone the cartoons I think will help to see he is just as God designed him and we will continue to search for his special niche in life.”

I heard from other parents who are still looking for answers: “Why is it that Aspergers is so hard to diagnose? One doctor says he has it but the other doctor not so sure. Mean time he struggles in school and no one wants to accept he has it. Where I live there are not any support groups for parents stuck in the middle till the doctors can agree.”

If you're in this situation, I hope you don’t give up searching for answers. Maybe you can find support from others who have been where you are, perhaps in one of the many online communities. As Will said in his comment, when things seem hopeless, they can really get better:

“My boy just turned 11, his autism used to be very pronounced (perseverations, no communication or interest in interaction) but now he's a talkative pianist who reads science and loves math… When he was a little boy I spent a few years in the "crying stage" but now I wouldn't change anything about him, he's such an awesome person, my favorite person in the whole world! Just the other day friends were telling me how far he's come and realized I hardly even ever think of the despair or worries I had for him 9 to 7 years ago! I would advise any parents who are still in the early years to not despair and never give up and get him as much one-on-one interaction with as many different people as possible. He will amaze you and have so many hidden talents you can discover and cultivate and which will bring him success and happiness when he grows up!”

Other comments reminded me of how much misunderstanding you still encounter. Justus said, “I just hope that 'normal' folk can learn to accept differences. Everyone can fit in in their own way, if some would just stop judging others so harshly.” The Pyxie said, “Having friends who have questioned my son's autism diagnosis, I recognize the way you must feel when the previous commenters question your self-identifying as Aspergers.” Again, I think Will said it the best: “Every single one of us is 'weird' from a certain point of view when you get to know them. That's just human uniqueness and its a beautiful thing, collectively it carries our species into new levels of civilization and experience of life.”

Some of you had questions to ask me. Cypher asked, “Do you have problems talking on the telephone as well? I don't seem to carry a conversation on the phone well unless its in one of my areas of interest or I'm following a script.”

Cypher, I find it’s gotten easier for me over time, though there are times when I have a script, at least in my head. One difficulty is the lack of facial expressions over the phone, so sarcasm is especially hard to detect, as the one cartoon shows. Also, it’s that much harder to figure out when it’s your turn to talk. And, one of my biggest pet peeves is voice recognition menus.

Daphne asked, “Do you tell people that you have aspies depending on the situation? I can't figure out if it is something I should do or not.”

Daphne, it depends for me. When I first disclosed, I told the people closest to me, who I knew would be understanding. Outside of that, it really doesn’t come up too often. Some people simply know me as an individual with my own quirks, and that’s good enough. But if asked, I don’t have any problem saying that I have it, and I don’t consider it a secret from anyone.

Deb said, “I wish there were other people that would come forward and let us know their stories so we can see what our children's future looks like. Its hard to see the world through an Aspie's eyes.”

Deb, there are a great many blogs out there by autistic adults, and I encourage all my readers to check them out if you haven’t yet discovered them. Every one of us is different and has our own story to tell. You can find many autistic bloggers at the Autism Blogs Directory.

Lastly, many of you asked whether there will be a kids’ version of “Dude, I’m An Aspie!” I was considering this for a time, but haven’t given it much thought lately. It has been awhile since I was a kid, and I don’t have any of my own, so I’d really like to hear from parents on this. Beyond making the original more kid-friendly, what would you like to see in a kids’ edition? Any topics that weren’t covered in the original?

Once again, thank you to all my readers, old and new! This site may have "blown up," but hopefully I'll continue to keep you entertained and informed for a long time to come.

P.S. - Now, you can appear on this blog in cartoon form when you support me in the Walk for Autism! Details here.

12 comments:

  1. What a great blog post-I am glad that you are reaching so many people-children with Aspergers grow up to be adults with Aspergers and its tough for children to get understanding but they have so many more support opportunities than when they turn 18 and there is little or nothing in the way of support-thanks so much for your work!!!

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  2. C.R., this is unfortunately true, and hopefully more children are getting diagnosed early nowadays. Thanks for your comment and for following my site long before the "blow up!"

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  3. Yay on the blow up! :-) Your cartoons are wonderful and I hope many of the readers who came that day will keep coming back.

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  4. Thanks Kim! Your Autism Blogs Directory was instrumental in helping build my audience early on, and continues to send people here.

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  5. People who might want a kid's version of Dude might like to check out Pooki's cartoons on Hulverstott's site.

    All Pookies have Asperger Syndrome

    Hope you like them!

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  6. Matt,

    This was a great post. Thanks for answering people's questions. It is always nice to read/hear what other parents with children Charlie's age are going through. I don't feel quite so alone then. It is also nice to know that others are facing the same struggles with getting a diagnosis (official) as I am.

    Charlie and I have enjoyed your blog tremendously. I do have to tell you the funniest thing that has happened since I started reading it. One of Charlie's Aspie traits is that he takes everything very literally. One night I was reading one of your posts and he looked at me and said "Mom, I'm not an Aspie." I said "You're not?" He said, "No, I'm not an ass full of pee." I just roared with laughter. Now he will say that from time to time. He said it very seriously yesterday morning. Then he said, very deadpan, "That joke just never gets old."

    Thank you for giving us laughs Matt. Keep up the great work!

    Laura

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  7. Laura - hilarious, thanks for sharing! That's one for the kids' edition... or maybe not. :)

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  8. Laura, that reminds me of the stop ahead road signs...that was our joke until I read it with a little too much feeling and mom freaked out. Too much emphasis on the stop and not enough on the a head, I guess.

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  9. I'm so happy to read this. And I know this is going to sound...wrong, but if anyone should blow up, it's you.

    After reading your book, Jack regularly says now that he needs a 1-Up. Cracks me up every time. But also? It's a really self-aware thing for him to say and you gave him some language for it. Kudos.

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  10. Fat Aspie - lol, thanks for the comment.

    Stimey, that's awesome - I created a catch phrase! It's wonderful to hear someone that young gets the meaning and uses it in real life.

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  11. “Every single one of us is 'weird' from a certain point of view when you get to know them. That's just human uniqueness and its a beautiful thing, collectively it carries our species into new levels of civilization and experience of life.”

    Perfect.

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  12. Thanks matt awesome pictures..Love it... looks gorgeous and what a wonderful idea... Solaray

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